Comments for Nocciola ++ http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com Because your coffee is just boring without it! Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:35:24 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Digital Division by James Neill http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/10/28/digital-division/#comment-7 James Neill Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:35:24 +0000 http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/10/28/digital-division/#comment-7 1.Overall, this was a lively, well written essay which stuck to its topic. Whilst some refinement of structure, focus and content was possible, nevertheless the essay provided a workable balance of scope and depth. 2.Title Try to provide a descriptive title which clearly communicates the intent of the essay (e.g., put yourself in the position of someone scanning essay or article titles and trying to work out which ones are relevant to your needs, i.e., be as clear and informative as possible) 3.Abstract? Optional but can enhance readability without adding to the word count. 4.Theory Useful contrast between socio-economic and socio-psychological variables. One variable perhaps not considered is the mere exposure effect, that is, familiarity and exposure tends to lead to liking and use. A concept map could have provided a useful conceptualisation of the variables involved in the DD. 5.Research Several interesting studies incorporated, although a greater range could also have been considered, especially recent socio-psychological studies. It was helpful to consider practical, broad-scale cultural projects with the OLPC, etc. 6.Written Expression Very readable; it flows and hangs together as a whole. 7.Conclusion Brings insight; independent voice evident. 8.Online Engagement No links to comments provided. Some additional postings, but overall low engagement. Honest self-assessment; perhaps undersells essay's strengths. 9.Referencing & Citations Very good APA style. 10.Grammar & Spelling Very good. 1.Overall, this was a lively, well written essay which stuck to its topic. Whilst some refinement of structure, focus and content was possible, nevertheless the essay provided a workable balance of scope and depth.
2.Title
Try to provide a descriptive title which clearly communicates the intent of the essay (e.g., put yourself in the position of someone scanning essay or article titles and trying to work out which ones are relevant to your needs, i.e., be as clear and informative as possible)
3.Abstract?
Optional but can enhance readability without adding to the word count.
4.Theory
Useful contrast between socio-economic and socio-psychological variables.
One variable perhaps not considered is the mere exposure effect, that is, familiarity and exposure tends to lead to liking and use.
A concept map could have provided a useful conceptualisation of the variables involved in the DD.
5.Research
Several interesting studies incorporated, although a greater range could also have been considered, especially recent socio-psychological studies.
It was helpful to consider practical, broad-scale cultural projects with the OLPC, etc.
6.Written Expression
Very readable; it flows and hangs together as a whole.
7.Conclusion
Brings insight; independent voice evident.
8.Online Engagement
No links to comments provided.
Some additional postings, but overall low engagement.
Honest self-assessment; perhaps undersells essay’s strengths.
9.Referencing & Citations
Very good APA style.
10.Grammar & Spelling
Very good.

]]> Comment on Essay 1 (aka Wall of Text!) by Alex http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/09/03/essay-1/#comment-6 Alex Fri, 05 Oct 2007 02:46:17 +0000 http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/09/03/essay-1/#comment-6 Comments and Feedback Theory It was good that you mentioned relevant social psychology concepts and terms; you actually needed to refer to and apply relevant psychological theory to your discussion. You also needed to spend more time outlining personally-relevant social factors and how these social factors have interacted to contribute to your current social identity, rather than discussing how social identity develops or factors that contribute to one's social identity development in a generic sense. Your concept map could have been simplified, as you seem to have tried to incorporate too much information in it. Research You needed to refer to and outline more research studies to support and illustrate the ideas and concepts discussed in your blog. Written Communication Written expression was generally clear and easy to follow. Some minor errors with the presentation of in-text references were present. Many of the ideas and concepts could have been structured better. Avoid using short paragraphs in your Psychology written assignments. On-line Engagement Your previous blog posting was interesting - I must confess that it brought some levity to an otherwise stressful situation of having to mark the blog discussions! More on-line engagement is required. One thing you could do to increase your on-line engagement is to post messages on your blog site that involve situations from your own daily life or other peoples' daily lives (e.g., friends and acquaintances) that reflect examples of the key concepts and psychological theories covered in the unit syllabus. You also needed to include your self-evaluation against the marking criteria. Comments and Feedback

Theory

It was good that you mentioned relevant social psychology concepts and terms; you actually needed to refer to and apply relevant psychological theory to your discussion. You also needed to spend more time outlining personally-relevant social factors and how these social factors have interacted to contribute to your current social identity, rather than discussing how social identity develops or factors that contribute to one’s social identity development in a generic sense. Your concept map could have been simplified, as you seem to have tried to incorporate too much information in it.

Research

You needed to refer to and outline more research studies to support and illustrate the ideas and concepts discussed in your blog.

Written Communication

Written expression was generally clear and easy to follow. Some minor errors with the presentation of in-text references were present. Many of the ideas and concepts could have been structured better. Avoid using short paragraphs in your Psychology written assignments.

On-line Engagement

Your previous blog posting was interesting – I must confess that it brought some levity to an otherwise stressful situation of having to mark the blog discussions! More on-line engagement is required. One thing you could do to increase your on-line engagement is to post messages on your blog site that involve situations from your own daily life or other peoples’ daily lives (e.g., friends and acquaintances) that reflect examples of the key concepts and psychological theories covered in the unit syllabus. You also needed to include your self-evaluation against the marking criteria.

]]> Comment on Live from the pink room… by Rush http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/08/10/hello-world/#comment-5 Rush Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:20:16 +0000 #comment-5 What we need more of is Rush. They are the bomb. I am a fan of Rush and I approve this message. I think you need more posts about Rush. For instance, you could post about how Geddy Lee is Jewish, and how this has given him super human bass skills. You see kiddies, they are the blessed people.....of FUNK! Seriously, you ever seen a jewish kid play slap bass? Thats some funky ass funk. I mean, look at that! IT WRITES ITSELF! FUNK! YEAHHHH! What we need more of is Rush. They are the bomb. I am a fan of Rush and I approve this message. I think you need more posts about Rush. For instance, you could post about how Geddy Lee is Jewish, and how this has given him super human bass skills.
You see kiddies, they are the blessed people…..of FUNK!
Seriously, you ever seen a jewish kid play slap bass? Thats some funky ass funk.
I mean, look at that! IT WRITES ITSELF! FUNK! YEAHHHH!

]]> Comment on Live from the pink room… by hazelnutbubblegum http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/08/10/hello-world/#comment-4 hazelnutbubblegum Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:18:48 +0000 #comment-4 test post, advertisement, random text... all of the above... plus more!! test post, advertisement, random text… all of the above… plus more!!

]]> Comment on Live from the pink room… by DJ http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/08/10/hello-world/#comment-3 DJ Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:09:30 +0000 #comment-3 After my wife left me and married a woman, life was really getting me down. I used to waste hours at a time worrying about what me she couldn't love. I couldn't focus on anything at work. Then I found Nocciola++ and realised it wasn't me, it was my coffee! Nocciola++ really put the spring back in my step. With Nocciola++ I know that I can do anything. Thanks Nocciola++. I'll never drink boring coffee again! After my wife left me and married a woman, life was really getting me down. I used to waste hours at a time worrying about what me she couldn’t love. I couldn’t focus on anything at work. Then I found Nocciola++ and realised it wasn’t me, it was my coffee! Nocciola++ really put the spring back in my step. With Nocciola++ I know that I can do anything. Thanks Nocciola++. I’ll never drink boring coffee again!

]]> Comment on Live from the pink room… by James Neill http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/08/10/hello-world/#comment-2 James Neill Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:28:34 +0000 #comment-2 test post, advertisement, random text or....? test post, advertisement, random text or….?

]]> Comment on Live from the pink room… by Mr WordPress http://hazelnutbubblegum.wordpress.com/2007/08/10/hello-world/#comment-1 Mr WordPress Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:29:28 +0000 #comment-1 Words words words... Words words words…

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